


someone you maybe might love

by lulu_and_eli



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: 5+1, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, M/M, le gang also makes a brief appearance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:27:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26134972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lulu_and_eli/pseuds/lulu_and_eli
Summary: Five times Eliott knows Lucas better than Lucas knows himself, and one time Lucas knows Eliott.
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant
Comments: 18
Kudos: 191





	someone you maybe might love

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was inspired by this Tumblr post :)  
> I wrote it really quickly so I'm sorry if it's horrible fsdfhskj  
> the title is from supercut by lorde  
> I hope you enjoy!

Before Eliott, Lucas had never really known love. Well, at least not what love is supposed to be. He’d only known love as something fleeting, something that is an obligation, something that is bound to break.

It probably began when Lucas was fourteen and Eliott was sixteen. Yes, he supposes that’s when the feelings switched from _you’re my best friend and I’m really jealous that you got your dad’s old car_ to _you’re my best friend and all I can think about lately is kissing you and running my hands down your chest, feeling your heart beat._

Lucas is now twenty, and those feelings haven’t changed one bit. And he knows that Eliott does love him, in a way, but not in the way Lucas craves it. 

Eliott loves Lucas in the way he knows everything there is to know about him. Like how Eliott knows that everyone probably thinks Lucas is a Slytherin but to Eliott he’s a Gryffindor, or how Eliott can remember every time Lucas has a big exam approaching, or how Eliott is the only person who knows that Lucas likes to sing when he’s bored.

(But really, being known _is_ being loved, isn’t it?)

1.

The universe seems to really be testing Lucas today. And Lucas, for one, can’t say he appreciates it a whole lot. 

In his organic chemistry class this morning, his professor had informed his class that she had made a mistake on the syllabus and that they actually have _two_ lab reports due by the end of the week, not just one. The headache that had begun to brew in Lucas’ skull at the thought of all that work is still buzzing, like an annoying fly that won’t go away.

And, to make matters worse, as he had been leaving class he’d received a phone call from his father, which he only answered because it could have been something about his mother. Of course, it wasn’t. It was just a call to basically say, “Hi, Lucas, I know you’re my son and all but maybe it would be better if you didn’t come to the birthday party which my new wife of two months is throwing for me next week. It just would be easier if you weren’t there. Love, your asshole father.” 

Not that Lucas had been looking forward to the gathering. Not even in the slightest. It just doesn’t feel great when he gets reminded again of how little his father gives a shit about him. Especially not when he’s just found out he has, not one, but _two_ organic chemistry lab reports due in four days. _Spectacular_ timing on his father’s part.

So, Lucas speed walks to the nearest coffee shop on campus, determined to get himself a tea and shove his head in his books, not planning on resurfacing for at least a few hours. When he gets there, it’s luckily not too crowded, and he orders a black tea, sitting down at a small table by the window. He positions his laptop in front of him, staring blankly for a moment at a so far empty word document, before sending a desperate text to Imane: _please PLEASE help me with orgo tonight I will literally owe you my life_. He receives a reply almost immediately. _Only if you get me croissants._ Lucas snorts and types out another message, thanking Imane profusely before he shuts off his phone and slides it under his notebook.

He hears the squeaking sound of a chair being dragged across the floor, and he looks up from his notebook to see Eliott sat down at the opposite end of Lucas’ table, wearing his signature warm grin.

“Hey,” Lucas greets him, surprised, his mind already racing with thoughts. Eliott barely comes to this coffee shop, Lucas knows this. It’s completely out of the way of most of the art buildings on campus. Besides, Eliott had once told Lucas all excitedly that he had finally invested in his own coffee machine, so that he’d never have to pay five euros every time he wanted a coffee. So the reason for Eliott’s presence here, Lucas is completely at a loss.

“Hi,” Eliott responds, leaning forward on his elbows, peering into Lucas’ cup. He frowns slightly, his eyebrows wrinkling together. “Bad day?”

The question catches Lucas off guard. He’s only said one word to Eliott, not anything about the shitty day he’s had so far. He looks at Eliott questioningly. “Um, yeah, actually. How did you even know?”

“You order green tea on a good day and black on a bad day.” Eliott sits back slightly and shrugs effortlessly, as if this piece of information was something everyone should know. But really, only one person does. “It’s practically a part of the Lucas handbook no?”

Lucas chuckles lightly and shakes his head. “I’m pretty sure that only goes for you, Eliott.”

Eliott laughs, picking absentmindedly at a piece of wood that’s chipping away on the table. He looks back up at Lucas with a more concerned look in his eyes. “But, a bad day? Do you want to talk about it?”

Lucas bites his lip, looking down at his lap momentarily before meeting Eliott’s gaze again. “It’s just a class I have a fuckton of work for. Stressing me out is all.” Eliott nods slowly, but he’s still looking at Lucas so intensely, like he knows there’s something else, and he’s just waiting for Lucas to tell him. “And also there was a thing with my dad. He, like, basically uninvited me to his birthday next week, which I know I was dreading anyway, but, I don’t know. Still kind of feels like shit when your father is trying to delete you from his life.” Lucas musters up a small, close-mouthed smile and a shrug of his shoulders in order to come across like it’s not bothering him as much as it is. But Lucas should know better, because Eliott always sees right through him.

“Shit,” Eliott breathes out, shaking his head in disbelief, “was that the birthday party you invited me to? The one where we were gonna dress up in all rainbow clothing to fuck with your dad?”

Lucas laughs slightly, feeling the smile grow on his face. “Yup, that was the one. I guess we’ll have to save that for another occasion.”

“Fuck, I was _so_ looking forward to that,” Eliott says, with an exaggerated disappointed tone to his voice, and a smile. Then he’s reaching forward over the table and taking one of Lucas’ hands in his own, rubbing his thumb over Lucas’ knuckle. Lucas freezes and looks at Eliott with wide eyes.

“Lucas, I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t do anything, but your father is a fucking idiot for doing that to you. I can’t imagine having you in my life and wanting to get you out.” Lucas’ jaw drops slightly, stunned by Eliott’s words. “That’s not a reflection on you, Lucas, okay? That’s completely on him. It’s his loss.”

Lucas stays quiet for a moment before he speaks, quietly. “Thank you.” He realizes that his hand is still in Eliott’s, and he squeezes slightly, smiling when he feels Eliott squeeze back right away.

“You don’t need to thank me, Lucas. What kind of best friend would I be if I didn’t take every chance I can get to tell you your dad’s a prick?”

“Right.” _Right. Best friend._

Eliott abruptly removes his hand from Lucas’ and stands, his chair making the same obnoxious sound against the floor as it gets pushed back. “I think I’m gonna get something and stay for a little while. I have a bit of time before my next class starts. Is that okay or are you in some sort of work flow?”

_Please stay, please never leave, please take my hand again and kiss my knuckles and kiss me and-_

“No, no, you can stay. Of course.”

Eliott smiles and turns on his heel towards the counter.

“Oh, Eliott?” Lucas calls after him, and Eliott spins around. “Could you maybe get me a green tea?”

2.

“No, put on the blue denim shirt. Trust me.”

Without hesitation, Lucas takes the shirt from Eliott’s hand, trusting his judgment, and throws it on over his white t-shirt, leaving it unbuttoned. “Like this?”

Eliott nods, his eyes scanning Lucas’ body, and Lucas feels himself blush. “Yeah. You look great. Your mom’s gonna be so excited to see you.”

Lucas smiles nervously, smoothing out the creases of his shirt. “I hope so. Sometimes she doesn’t do all that well with surprises or unexpected visits, so she might not like it but it’s her birthday so I thought-“

“Hey,” Eliott interrupts softly, squeezing Lucas’ shoulder. “It’s okay. You might not be able to control her reaction, but there’s definitely also the possibility that she’ll be so happy that you’re there. Try to focus on that, okay?” He rubs down Lucas’ arm a bit in comfort and Lucas tries to relax instead of freezing up under his touch.

“Okay, I’ll try,” he exhales. “Now I just need to fix my hair into something presentable, I guess.”

Lucas turns to his mirror and immediately starts smoothing it down from its usual state of chaos, pushing it down the back of his head and over his ears.

Then Eliott is lunging forward a bit and stopping Lucas’ ministrations with his hands. “Wait. Do it like this.” With his hand, Eliott tucks the pieces of Lucas’ hair behind his ear, smiling. “You have freckles on your ears. It’s cute.”

Lucas isn’t sure what to focus on; the fact that Eliott’s hand is still on him, or the fact that he called him cute. Well, he called his _freckles_ cute, but details. 

“I do?”

“You’ve never noticed?”

Lucas snorts. “I don’t find myself often looking at my ears in the mirror, no.”

Eliott takes his hand away and clasps it with his other hand behind his back, shrugging. “I noticed them forever ago. But I only really see them when you tuck your hair like this.”

Lucas smiles incredulously, shaking his head. “Well, I guess I’ll have to do it like this more, then.”

“Please do.”

Lucas feels his heart pounding in his chest, and he’s so tempted to reach for Eliott and drag him into a kiss, except-

“I guess you should be going.”

Lucas snaps out of his daze. “Huh? Oh, yeah.”

Eliott follows him to the front door, down the stairs and out to the sidewalk.

“You got your phone?”

“Check.”

“Wallet?”

“Check.”

“Keys? Your mom’s gift? Metro card?”

“Check, check, check.”

Eliott smiles, and suddenly he’s coming close into Lucas’ space and pressing their bodies together, closing him into a tight hug. He wraps his arms tightly around Lucas’ neck, burying his face in Lucas’ hair. Lucas stills for a moment, before hesitantly moving his arms around Eliott’s waist, hugging him back tightly.

“Tell your mom hi for me, okay?” Eliott speaks softly into Lucas’ hair, sending shivers through Lucas’ body.

They separate, and Eliott makes a disapproving noise and tucks the piece of hair behind Lucas’ ear, again. 

“I will,” Lucas promises, knowing that his mother will be so happy at the mention of Eliott’s name.

“Will you call me when you get out? I want to hear how it went.”

Lucas grins, feeling butterflies in his stomach. “Yeah. Of course, I will.”

With another smile, Lucas turns and walks away, and he finds that he isn’t feeling as nervous as he was before. 

With Eliott’s words ringing in his head, he greets his mother with a bright smile, and she returns it eagerly, swarming him with kisses all over his cheeks.

And when he tells Eliott over the phone that it went well, he’s not even the slightest bit bothered when Eliott yells, “I told you so!”

3.

Eliott’s phone is broken. At least, that’s what he’s telling everyone else to save himself the embarrassment. 

However, Lucas knows that Eliott left his phone on the hood of the car, and when he backed out of the driveway it fell off, and Eliott ran it over, completely shattering it. But he’ll keep that to himself, for Eliott’s sake.

Lucas would normally never be caught dead at a mall; too many screaming children, obnoxious teenagers and rude parents for his taste. But since Eliott had needed a new phone, he’d summoned Lucas to go to the mall with him because “that’s where the Apple store is, Lucas, duh.”

So that brings them to now. They’re sitting on the bench in the metro station, waiting for the next train to come- Eliott had said he didn’t feel like driving, but Lucas really knew he just didn’t want to do anything that could possible fuck up his new phone, and for Eliott that apparently includes driving a car.

“Shit,” Eliott mutters under his breath, squinting at his phone’s screen. 

“What’s up?” Lucas asks curiously, peering over to see what has Eliott’s attention.

Eliott huffs out a breath, shaking his head. “They didn’t sync all my contacts from my old phone. I’m gonna have to go back in and add all of them myself now, it’ll take me forever.”

“Shit,” Lucas agrees. He knows how tedious tasks like this can frustrate Eliott, and he’s almost inclined to say he’ll do it for him. But he has at least a shred of dignity left, so he decides against it.

Eliott hums, leaning his head against the wall, looking forward at the tracks. Lucas wills himself not to stare, but he loses, his gaze sliding over Eliott’s profile, over the strong curve of his nose, his high cheekbones, his pouted lips, his sharp jaw.

Suddenly Eliott whips his head over to face Lucas again, and Lucas blinks out of his stare.

“Do you wanna be the first contact in my brand new phone?” Eliott says it in such an excited tone, eyes overly bright and smile wide.

So Lucas plays along. “Why, I would be _honored_ ,” he says, pressing his hand to his chest. He reaches for Eliott’s phone, planning to add in his number himself, but Eliott snatches it away at the last moment, shaking his head.

“I know your phone number, don’t worry,” Eliott says, already tapping away into his phone.

Lucas snorts. “How the hell do you still remember my phone number? We’ve had cell phones for years.”

Eliott shrugs. “I don’t know. It kind of makes sense, though, right? You’re one of the most important people in my life. I know your phone number.”

Lucas chokes but tries to cover it with a scoff. “Okay, well what does it say about me that I don’t have your number memorized? Am I a worse friend than you?”

Eliott grins, standing as the metro approaches, the metal squealing sound piercing Lucas’ ears. “I like to think we both have our ways of showing friendship. Me, I remember random, pointless information about you.” They step onto the metro together, holding onto one of the poles in the middle. Eliott looks down, shifting his weight from foot to foot, speaking more quietly when he continues. “But you, you’ll come spend literal _days_ with me when I’m depressed, even if you have exams. You’re better than you give yourself credit for.”

Lucas wants to tell Eliott that it’s not pointless. He wants to say that every time Eliott remembers something like the fact that Lucas’ favorite shirt is a battered, worn down Tour de France t-shirt, Lucas’ heart flutters with the golden feeling of being known, _really_ known, by Eliott. But Lucas just smiles and shakes his head.

If Eliott perceives Lucas’ love as just good friendship, then Lucas will take it.

4.

Lucas walks aimlessly around the flat, bored out of his mind. He’s actually come to the point where he’s straightened out the few pillows on the couch, vacuumed the floors, and organized Yann’s extensive collection of cereals.

“Oh my god,” Yann groans in disbelief, stepping into the bathroom where Lucas is currently meticulously folding washcloths. “Dude. What the hell is wrong with you? The entire time I’ve known you, you’ve been a total slob. You’re freaking me out.”

Lucas scoffs, turning back towards Yann. “I am _not_ a slob.”

“That wasn’t the point, man.”

Lucas sighs, walking out of the bathroom and making his way towards the living room, hearing Yann following him. “Nothing’s going on. I’m just bored. Nothing to do. I don’t have any homework, I don’t have any other plans. I just needed to do something, I guess.” Lucas flops down on the couch, and Yann sits at the opposite end, looking at Lucas with narrow eyes.

“O-kayyyy, so why don’t we do something then? I can text Arthur and Bas, see if they feel like coming over.”

Lucas knows who he wants to see, and it’s only one person. Said person is away for the weekend visiting his parents, however, leaving Lucas with his idiot friends instead.

Lucas scrunches up his nose, uninterested. “Um. Nah, it’s fine. I can just chill by myself.”

Yann sighs, sitting up and patting Lucas’ knee. “Fine, if you say so.” Yann stands and starts to walk towards the kitchen, turning back to Lucas at the last second. “But you know, Eliott won’t be back for two days, so maybe think about hanging out with your actual friends instead of sulking about your so-called friend who you’re actually in love with, yeah?”

Yann barely misses the pillow that Lucas launches at his head, chuckling as he stumbles back into the kitchen. Lucas huffs out a breath as he sits back on the couch, fiddling with this phone in his hands. He’s about a second away from resorting to just going to his bed and watching netflix when his phone starts vibrating with a call.

When Lucas sees Eliott’s name lit up on the screen, he scrambles to sit up, almost dropping his phone in the process, all the while straightening out his hair even though Eliott can’t even see him. He presses answer, bringing the phone up to his ear.

“Hello?”

 _”Hey!”_ Eliott says brightly, sending Lucas’ stomach in twists even over the phone.

“Hi,” Lucas repeats as he stands, walking over to the window of the living room with one arm wrapped around his waist. “How’s the good old suburbs?”

Eliott chuckles. _”Fine, I guess. My mom keeps on making me all these gigantic meals, since she knows once I’m back in Paris I’ll be stuck with my own ‘creations,’ as you call them.”_

“Oh, you poor thing. Being forced to eat nice home cooked meals, I pity you,” Lucas says in a sarcastic tone, biting down on his lip to keep his budding smile from reaching his voice.

 _”Well I have to say, I’d rather be sitting on the floor, eating blueberry bacon muffins and watching The Office with you,”_ Eliott says softly, and Lucas’ breath hitches. _”But the moment I get back on Monday, I’m confining us to your kitchen where I’m gonna show you the amazing cheesy apple pie idea I had.”_

Lucas laughs, and he feels warmth spread all throughout his body. “You know, on second thought, why don’t you just stay with your parents?”

Eliott scoffs in a mock offended tone, and Lucas can just picture his face; eyes wide, jaw dropped, trying not to smile in order to keep up the front. _”You hurt me, Lucas. Come on, I know you miss me.”_

Lucas shifts his weight from foot to foot. “Nope, I don’t,” he retorts, although the tone in his voice is a dead giveaway. 

_”Liar. You miss me, I can tell. Tell me, what have you done so far while I’ve been gone?”_

“I- well I’ve, um-“

_”Riveting!”_

Lucas scoffs. “You suck,” he mutters, but somehow he says it with a tone so soft it really comes out more like, _you’re my favorite person and I miss you all the time, even when you’re there_.

Eliott laughs over the phone. _”I miss you too, Lucas. When I get back I’ll spare you the new recipe, okay?”_

“Okay.”

There’s a pause, then, a brief moment where Lucas is caught wanting to tell Eliott to come back home, that he misses him, that every time Eliott goes away he leaves behind a space in Lucas that no one else could possibly fill.

“Well, I should probably let you go,” is what Lucas decides to go with. “Your parents are probably wanting to spend as much time with you as possible, don’t wanna take all that up when I have you all to myself the rest of the year.”

Eliott doesn’t answer right away. He’s silent, and Lucas can only hear the light rumbling noise that the phone makes.

_”They don’t mind, Lucas. They know that you’re different.”_

Lucas stops pacing and goes to sit on the armrest of the couch, stabilizing himself. “What…what do you mean?” He says in a slightly uneasy tone.

He hears Eliott sigh lightly. _”You know what I mean.”_

Lucas doesn’t say anything, too caught up in what Eliott would probably say anyway. _My parents don’t care. They know you’re my best friend in the whole world. And I’m yours._

But Lucas can’t hear it. He can’t hear Eliott go on about how Lucas is his best _friend_ any longer, when what Lucas wants is so, so much more.

_”Lucas-“_

“I have to go. Yann’s calling me. I’ll see you soon?” 

_”Okay. Bye, Lucas.”_ Eliott says, after a thick pause.

“Bye.” Lucas frantically hangs up and throws his phone on the couch cushions, burying his face in his hands, letting out a frustrated groan.

“Lulu? You good?” It’s Yann, who’s come back into the living room after hearing Lucas’ sound of despair.

Lucas pouts, keeping his face in his hands. “It’s so fucking exhausting.”

Yann comes to sit next to Lucas on the couch, rubbing his back lightly. “What is?”

Lucas picks his head up, staring at the end of the rug on the floor. “Being his friend. Being in love with him. Everything.” Lucas doesn’t even need to say he’s talking about Eliott, and he looks at Yann to see he’s nodding, understanding.

“Maybe you should try to tell him, Lucas. I see how he looks at you sometimes, you know, it’s really-“

“Yann, please, can we talk about something else?” Lucas pleads, looking at Yann with wide eyes.

Yann nods, motioning with his head to the TV. “Wanna watch Breaking Bad?”

Lucas drops his head and chuckles slightly. “You always know how to distract me.”

Yann smiles, starting an episode. “I sure do.”

Lucas settles back into the couch, forgetting everything, forgetting Eliott.

At least for the rest of the night.

5.

Lucas _rarely_ gets sick. It’s something he prides himself on, in fact. The last time he can remember being seriously sick is when he was seventeen and he got the flu, leaving him bedridden for a week and a half. Yann had left him all his food outside his door, refusing to see Lucas out of fear of becoming sick, which Lucas had teased him endlessly for.

So three years later, the time has come again, and Lucas is sneezing and coughing and bleary-eyed, in his bed for the third day in a row. He swears he got it from Basile, who probably only washes his hands half the time. He’s absolutely going to _kill_ him, whenever he can actually stand on his feet without feeling like he’s going to faint. 

He’s under his covers, laptop sitting on his legs, playing episode after episode of The Office. It’s been the only thing that’s entertained him since he got sick; well, that, and the rendition of “Hot Blooded” that Yann, Arthur, and Basile had so kindly performed for him the day before.

Suddenly Lucas hears shuffling outside his bedroom door, and he raises his head slightly towards the noise. The door opens and Yann pokes his head in comically.

“Lulu? You up?”

Lucas coughs and clears his throat. “Yeah, what’s up?”

“Someone came to see you.”

Lucas is just about to call Yann out on his ridiculously cryptic wording when Eliott walks through the door, holding nothing but a bag of groceries, a bowl, and a spoon. 

“Hey,” Eliott says quietly. Yann gives Lucas a knowing smile and backs out of the room, shutting the door behind him. “I was texting Yann and he mentioned you were sick, so.” He places the bag on the floor, emptying its contents, and Lucas almost snorts when he sees that it’s a half gallon of milk and a box of cinnamon toast crunch.

“I think most people would bring chicken noodle soup to a sick person, Eliott,” Lucas jokes as Eliott carries the food over to the bed, sitting on the edge next to Lucas.

Eliott snorts as he opens up the box, pouring some into the bowl. “Please. You and I both know you hate soup. And the last time you were sick the only thing that helped you feel better was sugary stuff.”

“So why did you bring me this, then?”

Eliott narrows his eyes at Lucas and juts out his head, as if to say, _really?_ “Your favorite cereal is cinnamon toast crunch and you first ate it when you were eight. Remember? It was at my house that one summer.”

“Oh, yeah,” Lucas replies absentmindedly as Eliott finishes pouring the milk, handing the small bowl over to Lucas. Then Eliott’s swinging his legs up onto the bed, leaning against the wall and getting closer to Lucas, and he immediately flinches away.

“I don’t want to get you sick,” he says weakly, as an attempt to appear considerate when he’s really just happy whenever Eliott gets closer to him, flu be damned.

Eliott smiles gently. “I don’t care.”

Lucas considers this for a moment; how honest it sounds when Eliott says he doesn’t care, the fact that Eliott remembered sugar helps him when he’s sick, the fact that he’s here at all. “Alright.” He presses play on his laptop and the show continues.

There’s so much Lucas wants to say. If Eliott were his boyfriend, he could say, _thank you. I love you. You’re the only one who can truly make me feel better. And that’s fine because I only want you, forever._

But Lucas can’t. So he resorts to picking up a spoonful of the cereal and smiling gratefully at Eliott, trying to show him that he’s glad he’s here.

When Lucas has finished the cereal, he finds himself feeling slightly drowsy, and he starts leaning into Eliott’s side.

(It’s not Lucas’ fault, though. He’s just tired.)

Lucas feels Eliott chuckle, and with the way Lucas’ head is positioned, he can hear Eliott’s heart beating, a strong and steady _thump thump._

Then he feels it, Eliott’s arm wrapping around Lucas and coming to rest on his waist, pulling him closer. It’s a strong hold, secure. Lucas has never felt so safe. Even if Eliott probably just thinks Lucas is asleep, Lucas buries his nose further into Eliott’s side, bringing his hand up to rest on his chest. Lucas thinks, this is what it would be like to fall asleep against Eliott every night. Feeling his warmth everywhere, listening to his breathing, falling asleep knowing he’ll be there in the morning.

Then, Eliott snuggles up closer next to him, brushing the hair off of Lucas’ sweaty forehead. “Lucas,” Eliott whispers, and at this point he _must_ think Lucas is asleep, so he doesn’t move an inch. “I’ll take care of you.” Lucas feels the faintest press of Eliott’s lips to his hair. They stay there for a moment before he rests his head on top of Lucas’, and they eventually fall asleep, wrapped up in each other.

+1

The bass thumps inside Daphne’s small flat, filling the otherwise silent Friday night. Lucas, however, is sitting on the balcony, too distracted to even get drunk. He sits with his back against the wall, tilting his head up to look at the stars in the sky, trying to spot a constellation. He laughs at himself when he realizes he isn’t familiar with any constellations anyway; that was always Eliott’s thing.

Suddenly, Lucas hears the glass door slide open next to him, and he glances over to see, of course, Eliott, hesitantly walking out onto the balcony, sitting down right next to Lucas, hugging his knees loosely to his chest.

They don’t say anything at first. They just watch the sky, watch the breath from their mouths come out in clouds against the chilly air.

Lucas continues looking forward, but he sees Eliott turn his head towards him out of the corner of his eye.

“You didn’t feel like the party?”

“Nah,” Lucas responds, still looking forward, “just wanted to think.” He looks at Eliott, then, whose eyes shine even in the black of the night.

Eliott nods in understanding. “To think?”

“Yeah.”

Eliott hums, turning back away, rubbing his hands together. Lucas is about to get up and get himself a drink to save Eliott the awkwardness when Eliott speaks again.

“So, about the other night.”

Lucas stares at him in confusion, genuinely not knowing what Eliott is referring to for a moment. “What are you-“

And then he remembers. The night Eliott came to Lucas when he was sick, and they’d fallen asleep in a way that was definitely not platonic. Lucas had woken up alone the next day, with a text from Eliott explaining he’d needed to go to his morning class, but they hadn’t talked about that night since. Every interaction, even the ones that probably seemed perfectly nice from afar, has been filled with a deafening silence, a burning question of who would mention it first. Eliott’s arm caressing up and down Lucas’ back. Lucas’ hand clutching at Eliott’s chest. The rhythm of their breathing together. The way Lucas had woken up reaching for Eliott across the bed, even though he wasn’t there.

Their friendship had never really crossed that line. Not that anything _happened_ that night, but Lucas was usually pretty good at keeping his distance, out of fear that he’d do something to fuck it all up. And clearly, now he has.

“I knew you’d bring that up,” Lucas says quietly. “Listen, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have slept on you like that, I knew that it was dumb and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable-“

“Wait, Lucas, no. That’s not what I meant.”

Lucas’ eyes widen. “No?”

Eliott shakes his head. “No, I- I wanted to say that, even though you were sick, I enjoyed that night.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. It meant something to me, Lucas. It _means_ something.”

Lucas’ heart threatens to thump out of his chest as he looks at Eliott, with his blushed cheeks and intense eyes, looking at Lucas like-

No, it couldn’t be that.

Lucas clears his throat. “It- it did?”

Eliott bites his lip, fidgeting with his hands and looking away. “Yeah. I kind of- well I mean, I thought that it might have meant something for…um, for you but I think I was wrong so I’m sorry, I’ll go-“

Lucas tugs on Eliott’s arm as he tries to get up, pulling him back down. “Eliott, wait.” Lucas needs to get this out, while Eliott’s here, while it’s dark, while he’s thinking maybe he can finally have the courage to say it. 

“That night, it was- it means something to me, too.”

Eliott looks over to Lucas again, and Lucas can see his chest rising and falling rapidly. “When you were there, next to me like that, I…I never wanted you to leave. Feeling you holding me, and laying with you the way I was, it was- I mean, I was sick, but I’ve never felt something like that. Well I mean, I have, but- I only feel that way when I’m with you.”

Eliott stares at Lucas, his mouth slightly parted, speechless. So Lucas continues.

“You know me, Eliott, like no one else does. And that, that means everything to me. You make me feel safe, and just- so happy, even when I’m having a black tea kind of day.” Eliott smiles at that, and it motivates Lucas to keep going. “I know we’ve been best friends our whole lives, but I…I feel more. For you.”

Eliott darts his tongue out to wet his lips, and Lucas follows the motion before dragging his eyes back up to meet Eliott’s. 

“Lucas, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying,” Lucas takes Eliott’s hand between his own, taking a shaky breath, “I’m saying, that I love you. And I don’t just love you like a best friend loves a best friend. I _love_ you. I’ve loved you since you were sixteen and you were taking us on joyrides in your dad’s car. I loved you when you gave me food poisoning from those eggs you made when I was in the middle of my bac. And I love you, now.”

Lucas exhales, drunk off saying the words. The ends of Eliott’s lips are curved up a bit, and his eyes are crinkled at the ends, turning into crescent moons.

“Lucas,” Eliott breathes out, suddenly leaning closer. “I- I want…”

“What do you want?”

Eliott’s gaze remains strong on Lucas’ lips as he speaks, his eyelids already fluttering closed. “Can I kiss you?” 

Lucas swallows, hard. He nods furiously, already leaning forward to grip Eliott’s waist. “Yes, please.”

The tail end of his words are cut off by Eliott’s lips slamming into his own. Lucas wastes no time, reaching for Eliott and taking fistfuls of his shirt in his hands. Eliott grips the sides of Lucas’ face as he slides their lips together, running his tongue over Lucas’ bottom lip, coaxing his mouth open further, and Lucas gasps against his lips. Lucas licks into Eliott’s mouth, feeling the vibrations of Eliott’s deep-throated groan run all the way down his spine. As they continue kissing, their smiles keep getting in the way, knocking their teeth together over and over.

Lucas feels light in a way he never has. Feeling Eliott’s lips on his is like opening a door that’s been waiting there, unlocked, but Lucas had just been too busy stupidly searching for the key. He whines into Eliott’s mouth, wrapping his arms around his neck, trying to close every inch of space between them.

“Fuck,” Eliott gasps when they break apart, a huge smile covering his face.

“Yeah,” Lucas agrees, moving his hands to cup Eliott’s face as he rests their foreheads together.

“Lucas,” Eliott says between breaths, “I love you, too. _Fuck_ , I love you so much. I’ve loved you forever.”

 _Forever_.

Lucas smiles, leaning back a bit and tracing Eliott’s cheekbone with his fingertip. He brings Eliott in with a hand on the back of his neck, kissing him again softly, his lips still feeling tingly and numb.

“I love you,” Lucas says again, just because he wants to. He runs his hands lightly down Eliott’s arms. “Does this mean, like- can we be together?” 

Eliott smiles, tucking a piece of hair behind Lucas’ ear, which Lucas now knows the reason for. “You mean, can we be boyfriends?”

Lucas nods, biting his lip so hard he’s afraid it might come off.

Eliott laughs, kissing Lucas on his forehead, then his nose, and both of his cheeks. “Okay, boyfriend. Should we maybe go back in and join the party?”

Lucas pouts his lips, pretending to be deep in thought, before moving so that he’s straddling Eliott’s waist, wrapping his arms around Eliott’s neck. The little _oof_ sound Eliott lets out has Lucas giggling, until he feels Eliott’s big hands low on his back.

“Hmmm,” Lucas hums, “I think we can stay out here for a little while longer, boyfriend.”

Eliott grins, rubbing his nose against Lucas’. “Whatever you say.”

Lucas giggles, leaning in to kiss Eliott again, when the door to the balcony is harshly shoved open, and Yann, Basile, and Arthur come stumbling out of it. They notice Lucas and Eliott immediately, in their compromised position of Lucas straddling Eliott’s waist and Eliott’s hands low on Lucas’ back. Lucas feels his face burn as he stares at his friends, waiting for one of them to react.

It’s Arthur who says something first.

“Okay, am I really, really drunk, or is that Lucas and Eliott?”

“Lucas, what the _fuck_.” It’s Basile, in an extremely disbelieving tone, and his face is so filled with confusion that Lucas snorts. Eliott lets out a laugh too, leaning forward to bump his head on Lucas’ shoulder, and all Lucas wants to do is wrap his arms around him and hold him for the rest of the night.

But he should probably address his friends first. Right.

“Um, so. Me and Eliott are kind of like, together?” His voice rises at the end of his sentence, like he can’t quite believe the phrase himself. Basile’s and Arthur’s jaws completely drop, letting out screams of _what_ and _when_ and _how_ so hysterically loud that Lucas is worried everyone else is going to come storming outside.

Yann just leans against the railing of the balcony, giving Lucas a smug smile. Lucas has half a mind to flip him off, but he’s so indescribably happy right now, he probably wouldn’t be able to show any form of hostility if he tried.

“Wait,” Basile says accusingly, looking at Yann, “did you know about them?”

When Yann doesn’t say anything, just smirks, Basile lets out an offended sound.

“I only knew Lucas _liked_ Eliott, I didn’t know this,” he gestures strongly to Lucas and Eliott, “was a thing yet. Come on, of course he told me. I’m his best friend.”

Eliott clears his throat loudly.

“Fine. Second best friend. Whatever.”

Lucas laughs and looks back to Eliott, whose eyes are already on Lucas. He’s so beautiful it absolutely _aches_. Lucas gently sifts his fingers through Eliott’s hair, twirling the soft tufts between them. Eliott watches him, hugging his arms tighter around Lucas, pressing their chests together.

Lucas rests his hand on the side of Eliott’s face, pressing a light kiss to the tip of his nose. “Mine,” he whispers, his lips brushing against Eliott’s. Eliott smiles, pressing their lips together in a quick kiss.

“Yours.” Lucas’ heart soars, elated, and his grip tightens in Eliott’s hair, his eyes zeroing in on Eliott’s lips again.

“Uhhhhh, Lucas? Eliott? You guys there?”

Lucas pulls away from Eliott’s face with a frustrated noise. “Jesus, guys. We’ve been together for three minutes. Go back inside and leave us in peace.”

“Great. He has a boyfriend for a millisecond and already he’s forgotten about us,” Arthur sighs, “let’s go be pathetically single, boys.”

Basile follows Arthur back into the flat, insisting that he is definitely _not_ pathetic. Yann lingers for a moment, reaching out a hand to muss up Lucas’ hair, winking at the two of them before he steps back inside.

“God, I’m sorry about them,” Lucas laughs, squeezing Eliott’s shoulders. “I should have known they would be annoying.”

“Damn, five minutes into our relationship and we’ve already been interrupted. This doesn’t feel like a good omen, does it?”

Lucas hums, moving further into Eliott’s space. “I guess we’ll just have to make up for as much time as we can while we’re alone, then.”

And when Eliott kisses him again, pressing their bodies closely together, Lucas feels all of the years he and Eliott have shared. All of the years of longing glances when he thought Eliott wasn’t looking, of watching Eliott go on dates with other people, of thinking Eliott would never feel the same in a million years.

As Eliott laughs into his open mouth, Lucas thinks, he would do all of it again.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading :) kudos and comments are always very appreciated!  
> Tumblr [eliotts-eyes](https://eliotts-eyes.tumblr.com/)


End file.
